So I went into the meeting, and plowed through the regular development plan stuff. I got so immersed into talking about my career path that I started to forget the bomb I had to drop at the end. Finally it came around, “so is there anything else?”
“Yes, though it isn’t work related, well I guess it is work related but isn’t related to anything we have been talking about. I went in the other week and had a mole removed, well the results came back and it isn’t good” I paused, I was going to have to say it out loud to someone besides the boyfriend. Deep breath in and then “I have skin cancer” He had very few questions but kept telling me how sorry he was. What I didn’t expect was the second I said those words the effect my body had. I started shaking starting in my stomach and then going outward.
I couldn’t stop it if I tried, it felt as if I was being electrocuted yet not painful. I went on to tell him as much as I knew at the time and then told him that I didn’t want people knowing. I realized that he had to tell his boss and the director of operations who handles all personal leave, but I didn’t want coworkers knowing. I didn’t want people feeling sorry for me and making me feel sorry for myself.
When I leave he has my permission to tell people where I am and what’s going on. Until then though I don’t want people treating me as a wounded duck. I need to make a list of people that I need to tell over the phone though before this blog goes live. Which will be after the surgery.