This week’s treat yourself Tuesday is a tad different than past weeks. This week is about how I’m treating myself to a total overhaul of my thinking process and my career path. Last week I had enough. It was Wednesday and I felt like my head was going to explode, I hated my job, I hated the people I was working with, I hated my boss. It all made for a pretty awful day. I went to the gym that night and went nuts at my boot camp. I got super heavy weights and for an hour just pushed myself as hard as possible. Once the hour was over I was pouring sweat but I felt awesome, I felt like I had just beat it out of my system. Then less than 12 hours later I was on my way back to work and it just started all over again. I put on a Jillian Michael’s podcast and it was perfect timing because she was speaking about fighting your way out of a corner, then I went to one of my favorite blogs and Becky was talking about how we loose the vision of our life as we get older. We stop asking ourselves what we want to be when we grow up and just start excepting.
Well enough is enough. I decided to follow her list and map out what I wanted to do and what makes me happy. Here is what I came up with:
When I grow up… I want to be a/an…
When I grow up… I want to feel…
More of a partner than independent
When I grow up… I want to have a hobby like…
Writing / Blogging
Running / Walking
When I grow up… I want to…
Own a home with a mudroom
Have a home where people feel comfortable in
Go to the beach plenty
Go skiing plenty
Be a good mom
Make a difference in the world in some way
Create a family
Own a dog
No surprise that this is a long way from where I am today. Where did I go wrong? Partly I wanted to move mountains I didn’t want to be “just a teacher” or not be the one who kept going higher and higher with my career. Just like when I run, I always have in the back of my mind, I bet I can go further. At what price am I going further though and who cares?! Is there a prize when I die for suffering and being unhappy all because I went far?
Each second we have the opportunity to reinvent ourselves. I don’t need to be all and powerful to have a lasting effect on someones life! One day volunteering at a soup kitchen would have more of an impact than I do now.
This fix isn’t going to happen overnight, and the hardest part for me is having patience, but the best part is I have a partner and family who said no matter what I do they will support me as long as I’m happy. There will be some waiting and some delays in getting this all sorted out, but at least now I have a map of where I want to be and know what will make me happy.
Today, knowing I have a plan is all the reassurance I need. If you are in the same situation I am, please have the courage in yourself to dig deep and find what makes you smile then put together an action plan to do it.