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the theory of opposites
By: Allison Winn Scotch
My favorite thing is when I start a book and cannot put it down, sadly that seems to happen when I don’t have tons of time to read the book, so I end up staying up late or ignoring the boyfriend or secretly reading on my phone at work. “The Theory of Opposites” by Allison Winn Scotch was that kind of book. Set in NYC, this book details what happens when you live in the shadows of your parents and don’t make your own map. It follows a character named Willa, originally named William because her dad wanted a boy and refused to change the name when she was a girl, who goes through some major life changes and with the help of her best friend manages to come out better than ok. The main question in the book is what am I lacking, what do I need to improve myself. She finds her answer towards the end of the book and then is able to make decisions based off the knowledge of what she is missing. Yes, this seems sort of vague but my mom and Krisha would really love this book so I don’t want to spoil anything for them.
So I start to thinking, what is it that I’m missing, what can I add to my life that would make it better and make me a better person, or feel better about the path I’m following? The one thing that I’m lacking now that I always had was career goals. Since high school I’ve always known what I want to do, and then pursued it. I remember thinking how insane it was that my brother upon graduating still wasn’t 100% sure with what he wanted to do after graduation. I have some semblance of what I think I want to do but it isn’t steadfast like my previous goals were.
Another thing I’m missing is balance in my life. Not romantically as that is fantastic, but professional, exercise, and diet. I’m either super slammed at work or go through lulls where there is nothing to do, which isn’t good because the days that are slammed are long and tiring but the day flies by and the days that are slow aren’t stressful but they seem to drag on FOREVER.
With working out I either go all in and am doing early morning classes or doing an hour at the gym then the opposite where I go and just get in the 30 minutes and head home. I need the balance of pushing myself but not getting burned out. Hopefully with ski season coming up the weekends will focus more on the outside activities and the workouts won’t actually seem like a workout.
The diet, oh man does it always come back to this? Am I ever going to find the balance where food isn’t something I obsess about and I can just eat when I’m hungry and then not eat on the moments my body doesn’t actually need fuel? This past weekend when I was in NH one night for dinner we went and got bar pizza which is small mini pizzas that are probably around four slices of a normal size pizza, and I ate the whole thing. Later on that night when reflecting on why I did that I came up with the notion that I always think “ok after this splurge I’ll start to do good things and not eat this again” which is the wrong mentality, because of course I’m going to eat it again but if I am telling myself I’m not then I’ll just go crazy every time.
Getting the balance with food and healthy thinking towards food doesn’t have to be a life long struggle, but I have to work it out. Hopefully, like Willa I am able to start making choices based off the knowledge I have about myself, so when I’m going to make a self destructive choice I instead take the two seconds like she does and say “the old me would have done this, but the new me is going to go against the grain and do this”. Hopefully I have as much fun finding my better self as she did as well!
Really loved this book and really felt a connection with Willa. I hope I find another good one soon.